I had to run an errand at lunch today and of course it took longer than I expected. So when everything was done and I was hauling ass back to the office as fast as I can taking what I thought was a short cut, I run into traffic of course. I turn onto this side road and there I am behind these slow-ass drivers on this two lane road and I swear we didn’t get above 20 mph. So yeah, I was about to pull the steering wheel off of the steering column. I mean there is this long ass line of cars just poking along. And I know that they were all doing it on purpose, just to piss me off. After what seemed like a couple of miles I said to myself “F it!” and started to work my way though the traffic. Every chance I got I would zoom around one car, sometimes two. And even though we were packed together pretty tight I really didn’t have a problem getting in. I bet that I passed about forty cars when I thought to myself “someone should kill the asshole who is causing this backup”. Well, someone did, maybe. I found myself behind the lead car of the backup, a hearse. I had just weaved my way though a funeral procession.
There is no doubt that I am King Dickhead. And this time it was an accident! Where’s my crown?
Don’t get dead
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6 comments:
Karma is still gonna get you, but... they were going slow. I'm going to write a will one of these days and I think I am going to make sure that should there be a funeral procession for me that they race through the center of town going OVER the speed limit in my honor. If you want to drive slow ride a bike.
I got ya beat. I was in line during the Xmas season and it was a long one. I kept watching people hold places in line and get in and out making it a longer line than I started out in. I got pissed off over this going for about 30 minutes and going nowhere in this line. Then I watch this old lady just walk right to the front of the line. I had enough I told my wife. This shit is going to stop with that old broad. So I step out of line and walk up the old bag and let her have it. I ask her, You think this is the front or the back of a line? She looks up at me with that old wrinked face and gives it back to me. "I work here sir!" Who knew they hired 90 year olds? Talk about looking like an ass in front of about 75 people.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Ginormous is a very strong word.
I am sure you wouldn't have done it if you knew.... :)
Don't beat yourself up about it. But thanks for sharing. Sounds like something I would do!
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