Dear Sweezey,
When I go out for a few beers with my friends, my wife almost never calls, but IF she does, she might call once to ask me to pick up something on the way home. But, it seems some of my friends are getting calls or texts from their women every ten to fifteen minutes if not more. It is impossible to focus on a game of darts or pool or just carry a conversation with the constant interruptions - and they don't dare miss the call and call back in a few minutes. I bet they even have to fumble for the phone in the middle of taking a piss. Gawd, who is that insecure? Why bother going out at all if you can't be left alone for a few minutes? On the flip side, when my wife is out with her friends, I don't call, and she might call to let me know they had a change in plans, simply because she wants me to know where she is, but it's no big deal. If we go to a party together we have little contact with each other and go different ways, yet there are those couples who are joined at the hip and hardly talk to anyone, Cheeze, why not just stay home?
WTF?
Dear WTF?,
So many questions in one e-mail, you really need to work on limiting that. But let’s try to address them. First off, some people who love each other actually like talking to each other. I know, crazy right? As for the frequency or as you call it, being insecure, I don’t know why. Maybe you pick bars in shitty parts of town and are too stupid to realize it. Maybe they want to make sure that their boyfriend/husband is still safe and alive, ever think about that? And why do you care what they do while taking a piss, are you jealous?
Secondly, you have to focus that hard on darts and pool? You must suck ass dude. And you can’t carry on a conversation if you get a simple interruption. You are going to have a miserable existence. As an FYI, the whole idea about going out with the fellas for some drinks is for the camaraderie, not to break out your billiards A game.
Now for the more serious issue, your wife doesn’t call you when you go out because she is busy pulling a train with the rest of the guys in the neighborhood. So she’s a little busy at the time. And when she does call and ask you to pick up something, it’s because he isn’t done yet and she don’t want you to come home too early and spoil it. Ever think about that? And when your wife is out with her friends, she wouldn’t answer if you did call. She wouldn’t be able to talk anyway if she did answer. Same thing for going your separate ways at parties, she’s just lining up new meat for the next time you and the boys go out for some brew. Keep making fun of people who actually know what’s going on in each other’s lives.
You sir, are a modern day idiot.
Thanks,
Sweezey
As always, feel free to e-mail me for advice, questions or concerns of any kind at DearSweezey@gmail.com.
- Don’t get dead
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