Dear Sweezey - Need Help

Dear Sweezey,

I need help!!! I need legal advice or a cheap lawyer. Here is my situation. My soon to be ex-wife has filed assault charges against me. In case your wondering, I didnt do it. Here is the story behind it. My soon to be ex-wife is bi-polar. A few months ago she went off of her meds and decided that she was too fat. She went to see her dumb ass doctor and he gave her a perscription for Phentermine (medical grade speed) fo weight loss. Within a couple of weeks of being on the Phentermine she was completely manic. She had decided that I was no longer good enough for her; that I made her feel like a "simpleton". Two months ago she left me for an ex-con, drug adict that she met online two days before. This new guy was in prison for a few years for robbery and assault among other things. Clearly, this is not the king of guy I want around my six year old step son, so, I refused to stay away from the house because he refused to come over while I was there. This new guy told my wife that the only way to get me to leave and stay gone was to get a restraining order. I believe that the best way to get a restraining order fast and free is to file an assault charge and get a protective order. Thats exactly what she did.

Heres what I have: I have text messages from her that say "if you want to play this game, I will play and you wont like the way I play" and "If you come over here you will have another report". She had already filed one police report claiming that I made some threatening phone calls to her. I have a chat session between her and her new boyfriend where she says "I know he didnt make the phone calls, it wasnt his voice". This chatsession is also the first time that he told her to get a restraining order against me because it was the only way to get me to leave. I have a witness to testify that he heard her tell me a few days before she had me locked up for assault that the next time I showed up she would "call the cops, tell them that I hit her and have my ass thrown in jail". I have a ton of character witnesses that will testify that if there was a violent one in the relationship, it was her.

Heres what she has: She has a torn shirt, and a police report. the arresting officer said that she had a red mark somewhere on her but he didnt say where.

I tried to present my case to the District Attourneys office but I was told that I cant discuss the case without a lawyer unless I waive my right to a lawyer. I dont know what to do.

Any advice???

Confused

Dear Confused,

One key thing that you left out is what exactly you need a lawyer for. Is it for the divorce from your soon to be ex-wife or is it for the assault charge? I am guessing for the DV. You should make things like this clear. Anyway, it sounds to me like you are pretty screwed. By the way that you tell your side of the story (derogatory comments about her and her new man, mentioning a step son, listing out what you have and what she has and so on) you seem as if there is something that you are either leaving out or covering up. I don’t doubt the text messages and whatnot but you are the one who went to her place. Here is a little tip that a cop friend of mine told me, anytime there is a DV call, someone is going to jail. That means you stupid.

Here is what I would advise you to do, take the court appointed lawyer because you are going to need all of the help that you can get. Oh and ask the judge if you can bring lube into the jail when they lock you up, you’re probably going to want that.

Thanks,

Sweezey

As always, feel free to e-mail me for advice, questions or concerns of any kind at DearSweezey@gmail.com.

- Don’t get dead