I am having to sell my father's guitar. He was a bass player for Billy Haley and the Comets. My father got the name "Comets" because he got drunk off Pabst Blue Ribbon one night and saw one. Anyways, this guitar was personally signed by Haley himself and my father was very grateful for him. Bill used to sing us songs when we were kids. Anyways, a man from Memphis offered $88,000 for the guitar and I am psyched that its worth that much but I am sad to see it go. I am a laid off factory worker here from Little Rock, I'm 52 years old with nothing but 22 years working for a packing company for 22 years and nothing, I have nothing.
What should I do? Do you think that I should sell it or hold out and see if I can get more for it?
Thanks for your help,
Jr. Bass
Dear Jr.,
Are you following in your daddy’s footsteps with the PBR right now? Hell yeah you should sell it! Your ass is broke with no job. Hell, 88K is more that some people make in a year.
And since you obviously don’t make real smart finical decisions let me help you out a little bit. Just as soon as you get your money, go to Office Depot and buy a sharpie then go to your bank, assuming you have a bank account (if not open one) and put the rest of the money in the bank and DON’T TOUCH IT. Ever! And if you think you need to get some of that money out kick yourself in the nuts first. You’re 52 and don’t have shit? The last think you need to do is blow your genetic lottery winnings.
Why the sharpie? Well a couple of months ago I had a garage sale where I sold a circular saw that Elvis signed for $50. I also sold a kitchen clock that Jimi Hendrix signed for $17 and the vacuum cleaner that Stevie Ray Vaughn used to vacuum my living room then signed, I got $40 for it. When I get home Kurt Cobain is going to sign a baseball cap. Get it? Take a picture of that autograph and practice, practice, practice!
If I was you, the bass player for Bill Haley and the Comets son (yikes), Bill Haley would have signed every book, toaster, article of clothing and anything else that I could find in my house. Bill Haley would be signing boxes of macaroni and cheese just as soon as I got home.
Hope this helps,
Sweezey
As always, feel free to e-mail me for advice, questions or concerns of any kind at DearSweezey@gmail.com.
- Don’t get dead
2 comments:
You are like a spiritual guru, financial adviser, therapist, and awesome dude all rolled into one with that reply of yours. You should at least let him go buy some PBRs with his money. Maybe he will see a comet too.
Yep. Sell that motherfucker. Basses that old probably don't play worth a shit anyway.
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