Dear Sweezey - My loser husband can't find a good paying job

Dear Sweezey,

My loser husband can't find a good paying job. He is a life long car salesman has not only bankruped our family with his silly jobs, but we've also lost our home to foreclosure and now i'm BEYOND pissed off. If he can't find a FULL TIME, decent paying job (with benefits) by the end of April, I'll be forced into looking for work just to pay some bills around here. This is NOT what I was planning on doing in my 40's. He hasn't even saved a dime for our retirement either. Wish that I could turn the clock back 25+ years and do things differently, but for now i'm stuck with an unemployable moron.

- Done in Dallas


Dear Done,

What do you want me to do about this? I’m not hiring. But let me see if I can help anyway.

So let me get this right. Your husband is the one that was, and probably always was, the one in the relationship who was working and somehow he is the loser? Yeeaahhhhh.

Here is the deal, you sound like a lazy bitch to me. I don’t know you but I do see that you don’t want to get off of your ass to get a job. So your house got foreclosed on and it is somehow his fault? I am sure that it has nothing to do with the entire nation being in turmoil huh. It has nothing to do with the country being in a recession at all, no that can’t be it.

So you are now beyond pissed huh. And if he can’t find a good paying full time job with benefits and a company car and a huge office with a corporate credit card or whatever the hell other bullshit demands that you have, you will be forced to look for a job huh? Considering that you don’t know that “I’m” is supposed to have a capital “I” and that the correct spelling of bankruped is bankrupted and “life long” is actually one word, I say good luck with that job hunt. I bet your resume looks like a monkey wrote it. I hope that you have some highly desirable skill set. But I can’t think of anything that is going to pay worth a damn that you can do with a mediocre, at best, command of the English language and grammar. If you don’t have enough sense to use spell check, how are you going to be able to get a job paying enough to elevate you back to queen bee status?

Now, as far as the retirement, I have mixed feelings about this. Part of me thinks why would he want to put something away for some ungrateful hag to blow? Then again, I see that you didn’t do anything to either encourage him to save or take the money you blew and put it into a rainy day savings on your own. You two are in this relationship together, sadly for him.

Nowhere in your letter did you explain what you have done for your relationship. What did you do in the past that is so fantastic? What makes you so great that you can’t join the workforce unless you have to? Why don’t you take the Marlboro 100 out of your sorry mouth and start picking up the place? Its call initiative, you should look it up. (Pssst, try dictionary.com!)

If you were worth a crap you should kiss his ass for taking care of you for this long while you didn’t do shit and let him know that you are there for him and that you two are going to do what it takes to get through this hard time in life together. But I am sure that you are far too good for that.

So this isn’t what you had planned on doing in your 40’s? That reminds me of an old Russian saying, “Tough Shitski!” I bet your husband didn’t plan on being legally bound to some ungrateful leach for 25+ years either. I find it funny that you call him a moron, yet you have apparently done nothing to better the situation until you are forced to. You heard about people who live in glass houses right?

I hope that your husband does get a great job and very soon. And then I hope he takes some of the money from his first paycheck and hire a divorce lawyer. I bet you would change your tune then.

Thanks,

Sweezey

As always, feel free to e-mail me for advice, questions or concerns at DearSweezey@gmail.com.

- Don’t get dead