Fountain Moron Viral Video

I don’t know if you have seen the video or not but some idiot in PA was walking in a mall while texting on her phone and walked right into a fountain. Now when I say she walked into a fountain I don’t mean that she bumped into it I mean that she went head first into a fountain. Mash here for the video. So here is the kicker on this, this woman has hired an attorney and is considering bringing a lawsuit against the mall. She’s all P.O.’d because someone “leaked” the footage from the mall’s security camera and she has been humiliated.

Let’s take a little deeper look at this shall we? Yes, we shall. The “leaked” footage to me appears to be from someone’s cell phone. So it might be a bit tricky to sue the mall, the security guard with the cell phone maybe.

Now how big is a fountain? They are huge. From the looks at the one in the video it’s about 50 feet across. Seriously, she didn’t see it?

For arguments sake, let’s say that she didn’t see it. Ever been near a fountain? They are kind of loud with all of that running water splashing around. You mean to tell me that not only did she not see it but she couldn’t hear it either?

The story says that she was humiliated, she humiliated herself. She should be pissed at herself for not having walking around sense, literally.

Also in the story she says that the assumed security guard was laughing and should have been asking if she was ok. First off, it was funny, I wish that the security guards all ran down, pointed and laughed in her face. Secondly, she popped right up, picked up her stuff, climbed out of the fountain and began walking away. Obviously she was fine. She also said that no one came to her aid. If she got up on her own and began walking away without even breaking a stride, how much aid did she need? It was also mentioned in the story that she claimed that it took security 20 minutes to get there. For all we know the security office could have been on the complete other side of the mall AND she got right out of the fountain and keep walking. Ever think that it might have taken a while to get to her. Of course it would be pretty easy to find her once they made it to the fountain. All they would have to do would be to follow the trail of water.

So she has now hired an attorney and may file a lawsuit. Oh please higher power of your choosing, let her sue. And I hope the judge rules in favor of the mall and bans her from the mall, hell, every mall. And I hope for good measure I hope the judge bans all of her offspring if she has any from every mall too. And I hope that the judge orders her and all of her family to have all of their reproductive body parts removed. AND never let her have a phone again. Not even a home phone. Hell, don’t let her have a cup and string. Just for good measure I hope the judge makes her donate all of their vehicles to a charity. And…give me a minute…oh I know, make her register or a society offender like a sex offender with a sign in her front yard and the whole nine yards.

**On a side note, I also think there should be a one-way gate around every Wal-Mart. Like a roach motel where stooges can get in but can’t get out.

So back to the lady from the fountain of stupid, she claims that she doesn’t walk and text and that this is the one time that she did, but won’t do it again….rrrriiiiggghhhttt.

This woman also claims that she could have walked into a car, a bus, a ditch or anything. So would she sue if she got humiliated while jaywalking?

How about people start taking responsibility for themselves and their own actions? Seems like people want a paycheck for being stupid.

I hope that they run this video on the jumbotron in Time Square and at the Superbowl on an endless loop.

You know how in “The Scarlet Letter” Hester Prynne had to wear a red upper case letter “A” to let everyone know that she was an adulterer? You guessed it, make this woman wear a great big red capital letter “I”. Maybe staple it to her forehead.

- Don’t get dead