Masculinity on a serious decline

A recent survey by research group Dewey, Cheatem & Howe shows that there is a huge decline in masculinity among men in the United States.  That’s right the new survey shows a two thirds drop over the last year.

  The reason isn’t that men have stopped drinking beer and martinis in favor of mojitos and daiquiris.  Or that men have stopped working on cars or quit wood working.  There is no drop in the amount of men who weld or ride motorcycles.  And only a slight decrease in the number of men who work in their lawns, but not enough to affect the survey.

  So you may be asking what is causing the drop. Blackberrys, iPhones and so on are to blame.  Yes, that’s right, the ole twitter from the shitter is to blame.  This survey shows that two thirds more men are sitting to pee because of checking facebook or their fantasy league on their smartphone while taking a squirt.

  Standing to pee, there’s no app for that.

  -- Don’t get dead