I saved a woman’s life yesterday.

Ok, well maybe technically I didn’t save it, but I refrained from killing her stupid ass. Let me paint the picture for you. I go bee-bopping my happy ass down the road to my office and everything is fine. I turn into my parking lot and see a space near the door of my building that is empty. Think to myself, looks like it’s going to be an okay day after all. About this time, I see this idiot that I work with come whipping into the parking lot, now mind you I am already in the parking lot and right by the space but since it is on my left I turn on my blinker and wait for her to pass. The fucking blinker should have been an indicator to her retarded ass that I was intending on parking there. Oh but hell no, she must have thought I was indicating to her that I was saving that space for her dipshit ass. The fucking moron whips into the space. I was dumbfounded. I mean I was stopped in the lot next to the space and she just pulled the mental-midget-mobile right in. So I purposely waited for her to get out of her car thinking that she would realize that she fucked up. Nope, ignoramious gets out, walks right in front of my car and into the building. For a moment I contemplated if I was invisible. But to no avail. So I back down the lane to find this space WAY down the lot. I can not wait until she is parked in the lot with an open space on her left side. I am going to park so close to her that an Ethiopian could not walk between the cars and I think I will go to lunch with someone else that day. She’s completely clueless is what cheeses me off the most. I mean if it was someone with half a brain and was doing it to screw with me, I could deal with that. But she has no idea what she did was wrong. She is also a complete idiot who feels that people should do shit for her because she’s female. Well guess what, I am a feminist and I feel that a woman should be able to do everything men can do, including opening your own damn door, getting your own chair when the conference room has none left and so on. I don’t know, maybe it is just because she is eight thousand years old and she grew up in a different time, or maybe road courtesy has gone away.

I swear I was so close to giving her a custom pinstripe job.