Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Band names that sound like Chinese food to me

The other night, as I was sitting in the tub trying to sober up from a night a drinking hurricanes that make Pat O’s seem like Kool-Aid, I got to thinking about how Bands/Groups/Performers names sound like Chinese food to me. At first I thought it was just Rap/Hip-hop but as my stupor began to broaden I realized that this phenomenon spreads across several genres.

Think about it. A call to your favorite Chinese delivery place could go something like this. “Hello, delivery place of your choice, how can I help you?” (Why do they ask how they can help you? They don’t help you with anything. How can you help me? Pay my taxes, thanks!). Any ways back to the story. “Yes, I would like to get an order of Wu Tang Clan with extra RZA (Rizza!!) and a side of Flava Flav with extra Korn. Can I also get some 2 Live Crew with no MSG (hard rock group). An order of Bell Biv DeVoe, and some Bomfunk MC’s. An order of BrassMonk, that doesn’t contain Bow Wow does it? Some Cannibal Ox with fried rice. Oh and I would like to try some Drunken Tiger with Dragon Ash and Dragon Fli Empire. An order of Ying Yang Twins with Black Eyed Peas and Salt N Pepa. I will also need two orders of Meatloaf with Neneh Cherry and Peaches and Herb. Then an order of Fatty Koo. A side of Fu-Schnickens with extra G. Love & Special Sauce and some Red Hot Chili Peppers. Do you deliver the Grand Buffet? No, well how about some Blue Oyster Cult with a 2Pac of Ice T with Ice Cube and Vanilla Ice? Do you have April Wine? What about Limp Bizkit? How about Blind Melon or Buckcherry? Oh, can I add an order of Frou Frou with some Uncle Kracker? Oh and how about some Hot Chocolate and Eminem for desert?

I got to quit drinking….
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