House Fire

Periodically we get these fliers at the house where someone is coming to our area and for a small fee of usually $10 to $20 they will paint our house numbers on the curb out in front of our house. The theory is that it will help people find our house, even though the numbers are on the house.

One day I am doing something in the front yard when one of these guys comes to leave a flier. He ask me if I was interested in getting my house numbers painted in reflective paint on my curb using a 4 inch stencil. Of course I told him nope. Which he should have left at that, but NOOOO he had to keep trying to make a sale. So he asks why I wouldn't. To which I asked him why would I?

I can paint my own numbers on my curb if I wanted them on there. So he tells me that it is to help the fire department find my house if it caught on fire. Are you F'ing kidding me? I can't believe that is his sales pitch.

I tell him no thanks and continue doing what I was doing. I am trying to be nice here by the way. But he just doesn't get it. He doesn't realize that no matter how hard he tries to sale me on it that I am not going to give him $10 to paint my curb.

So there I am trying to ignore him when he says "wouldn't you want the fire department to be able to find your house if it caught on fire?" Is he for real? To which I say to him "Hey, don't you think the smoke boiling out of my house would be a hint? I am pretty sure firemen, of all people, can see smoke." Then he comes back with (what I am sure in his head was a great point) "What if it caught on fire at night? You see the paint is reflective." I really hated to bust his bubble but he was starting to annoy me, so I replay with "Fire emits light dip shit, pretty sure firemen can see flames too. Move it along."

Like some reflective Krylon is going to be brighter than a house fire.