Something that I have never told but just a handful of people.

Several years back I bought my first house. I remember the day like it was yesterday. Beautiful clear spring day, the sun was shining, little puffy white clouds in the sky, a bit breezy, about 80 degrees. Just a perfect day, even if I was writing a huge check.

I close on the house, funding goes through and I get the keys with no problems. Since I had the keys I started to move in. I thought it might be a good idea to get the important stuff taken care of first. So I put my bed together, hook up the washer and dryer, hook up the fridge, unpack my clothes, stuff like that. And I was doing pretty good too. This was probably because I didn't have cable or internet service yet. I mean it was the first day.

I don't know if it was because this was a new-to-me house or if it was because of the kind of friends that I have or what, but I kept hearing what I thought were strange things. Like I would hear the storm door open and close, but no one would knock or ring the bell. This didn't bother me at first, but then it kept happening as the day turned to night. Now it is dark out and this is my first time in this house other than touring it prior to buying it. And I hear it again, the storm door opens and shuts but nothing happens. Since I was moving in, I had all of the lights in the house on and was moving from room to room. One time as I was walking by the entry way I heard the storm door open again. Thinking it was someone I know jacking with me, I thought I would turn on the porch light and open the door really fast to bust them. When I opened the door, there was no one there. Damn, they must be fast to get out of sight that quick, haha. So I realize that it is the wind blowing the door around and from what I could tell from a brief inspection the door wouldn't stay closed unless it was locked. So I locked it, no more open and closing, cool.

So there I am being a busy little bee just doing as much as I could to get unpacked and things put where I want them when I realized that I was getting tired. Since I couldn't just flip on the TV I thought the next best thing would be to just go to bed. I am guessing it is around midnight at this point.

I am lying in bed, just about to doze off and I hear a strange noise. I can't really describe it in text but it was almost like a strange squeaking/creaking noise. I sat up for a second, looked around and didn't hear it anymore and just shrugged it off. I lie back down, get comfortable and try to get to sleep when I hear it again. WTF is that noise? So I sit up in bed and really listen to see if I can hear it again. Nothing. Once more I lie down, pull the covers up and try to get some sleep when out of nowhere I hear it again! DAMNIT! What is that noise? So now I am on a mission, it's me or the noise, one of us is going to have to go. So I am looking everywhere, front door, back door, laundry room, under the sink, toilet tank, kitchen, you name it. I even decided to check out the closet. I go and get a chair, why I have no idea, but I decided to check the upper shelf on my master closet. I am all the way in the back of the closet, the light is on and I am standing on a chair with my hand searching the top shelf when I felt something. What is this? I slide it to me and see that it is … a paper mask of Mad magazines Alfred E. Newman that just about made me wet all of my clothes hanging there. I don't know why but to see this weird smiling tooth missing face where the eyes cut out kind of startled me for a second.

Forgetting what I was looking for, I took a deep breath in and out and then I heard the noise again. It was my damn nose whistling! Spring time and allergies are in full force. The creepy sound I was hearing was me, half asleep, exhaling through my congested nose which caused it to whistle.