Uncle Max

My buddy Matt's uncle, Max, has a little "issue" with booze. So much so that after one doctor's visit Max learned that he had an estimated 8% of his liver function left.

So in an effort to help Uncle Max dry out Matt's mom moved Max in with them once when Matt was in high school. The story goes that Max drank so much that even after three days of not drinking while at Matt's house Max was still drunk. Uncle Max knows how to party!

One day during Max's little stay at Matt's house Matt's mom was making some stew in the crock-pot. So Matt gets home from school and Max comes to after a while. Smelling the stew cooking Max ask Matt if he would get him some of the stew. Matt tells him sure and that he will put it on the dining room table.

Matt goes into the kitchen and gets a spoon and napkin and takes them to the dining room table. He then goes back into the kitchen to get a bowl of stew for himself and Uncle Max. While he is pouring the stew into the bowls he hears this strange scraping sound. He stops and listens for the sound and after a second or two he hears it again. After going to investigate he follows the sound to the dining room where he finds the noise. Max is now sitting at the dinning room table with a spoon in hand SCRAPING the finish off of the table and EATING IT!

Max notices Matt standing there and says "Can I have a glass of water? This stew is dry." Ummm, yeah…