I dunno, maybe it’s me

The Ft. Worth Stock Show & Rodeo is going on right now. Which is ok I guess, but I just don't get what the big deal is. Some people are getting WAY too excited about it. I am sure there are all kinds of things to do, I know they have a rodeo and a livestock show, probably tons of junk you can buy, various shows I would guess, but one thing I heard about sparked my attention. They are having a Celebrity Goat Milking Contest followed by Goat Creative Costume Contest… I shit you not. You can milk a goat? How? Why? Where??!! And just what "Celebrities" are doing this? And then you have a goat costume contest, what kind of sick fucks are dressing up goats? GOATS?! How do you even organize that? I would love to over hear one of those conversations. "Say Bob, you ever think about dressing that goat up like a clown and seeing if people like it better than my goat dressed up as a fireman?" And where would you get a costume for a goat? Goats R Us?

And just what is a livestock show? Are their prizes for the biggest cow or something? Prettiest pig? I don't know, it could be my background but hell I am from Alabama, you would think I would be more "into" this sort of thing but I just don't get it.

I have been to car shows, I get that.

There are parades and this event, which last for over three weeks, draws huge crowds. How much cow and cow related crap can you have to stretch this out for three weeks?

But the thing that I find the most interesting is the rodeo that people make such a big deal about. I have never been to many rodeos so it is possible that I am missing the luster that makes this event so appealing to the masses. I do remember going to one once, as a child with my dad's parents. But then again, I did find out later that it was a prison rodeo which may have had an effect on my attraction to rodeos. Who the fuck takes their grandchild to a place infested with criminals as entertainment? But my childhood and family background is something for a therapist. Anyway, back to the rodeo. Some of it I could see how it could be interesting. Calf roping, that could be interesting. You would have to have some level of skill so I can see that I guess. I know there are some sort of horse races, okay I could maybe see that. But the thing I don't get is bull riding. Don't get me wrong, I get that it's a half ton pissed off animal, I got that part. What I don't get is why. Or even more so than that is how. Well not how so much but I guess what the big deal is. You win by hanging on. From what I hear that's it, just hanging on. You stay on for 8 seconds and you win or something. So why 8 seconds? Why not 10 minutes? That would be awesome to see.

And something else that I find interesting is what you win, a belt buckle that looks like one of those disposable roasting pans that you bake a turkey in. Pardon my French but fuck you! I risk being crippled or turned into human Swiss cheese and you give me a clothing accessory? Are rodeo people retarded or do they have A.D.D. or something and love shiny metal objects? I hope that I am wrong on all of this and there is some big cash prize or something because if they are doing all of this for a belt buckle alone they should not be allowed to freely roam in society. You know what, now that I think about it, maybe I will go watch the rodeo if it is just for a belt buckle.