May the force be with you and also with you

First John the Baptist did it, then Martin Luther did it, even Deion Sanders and L. Ron Hubbard have done it. Now the Jedis have done it. They have created their own church.

Yeah, I laughed too.

Seriously though, they did. Now there is one in Beaumont Texas and some people want to open one in the UK. I won’t bore you with all of the details but the bulk of the story is there are two brothers, Barney, 26 - or Master Jonba Hehol - and Daniel, 21 - Master Morda Hehol – who head the UK Church of the Jedi. They say their services will include sermons on "the Force," light sabre training, and meditation techniques (Jedi mind trick?).

When asked about the services Barney said: "My brother and I will wear the Jedi robes, the dark brown robes... the congregation would be in black. Really to bring a sense of unity to the meetings."

Although the current members are all men, women are not excluded, as Barney Jones points out: "Princess Leia helped them out a lot." Hmm, no girls, I wonder why? *cough*nerds*cough*

However, any congregation member drawn to the dark side (you got to be kidding me) of the Force, embodied in the film by Darth Vader, would be advised they are following the wrong path and could face expulsion.

Barney explained: "Obviously, if someone starts to try and use the good force for greed and power, they are going to bring negative interference into the meetings.

"We cannot have the Force disrupted by negative interference."

Kind of makes you want to bitch slap them huh. You can read the full story here http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/7200531.stm

So then there is this church in Beaumont. One of the first things that you see on their site is “Become a Jedi; a real Jedi. We are not fictional Jedi from the wonderful Star Wars movies, neither are we role playing; we are the Real Jedi Religion in this Galaxy in this Multiverse.” Well thank god (or Yoda, whatver) they are the real deal, I would hate to think I was going to join a church that had “fictional Jedi” or had people “role playing”. My mind is at ease now.

Then it goes on to say “One may become a Jedi Knight; actually a Knight of Jediism. This is a serious commitment.” Yeah, no playing around at the church based on a Science Fiction movie. “A Knight of the Temple of the Jedi Order has the highest standards as a guardian of Peace, Justice and above all Compassion. Jedi are united in discovering the nature of The Living Force Of Creation and using our powers for the good of humanity and to improve ourselves.”

“A member may request a Ministers License and then legally conduct marriages and other religious ceremonies.” Oh please God (or Obi One Kenobi) please let that part be a joke. “The Temple has acertification program and gives credit for prior learning and on the job experience.” Say what? “We certify that you have completed a
course of training and / or have the knowledge to be a Minister of The Force. This is also known as Jedi Clergy and Jedi Minister.”

“This is not a click and be instantly ordained minister's license.” Yeah, remember this is serious stuff, take it seriously or they will feed you to Jabba the Hut! “There is no charge - ever. Money should never be a barrier to one called to the ministry. We exist through the donations of others in time, work and money.”

Don’t forget to learn the “Jedi Creed” that is listed on the site, which has a footnote that it is a direct adaptation from the Prayer of St Francis of Assisi. Unoriginal bastards.

And like every other serious church, don’t forget to check out their “Temple Store” where you can purchase religious items such as t-shirts, coffee mugs, mouse pads, drink coasters, baseball caps, tote bags, magnets, stickers, buttons, and of course your Jedi Journal.

Still want more? Be sure to check out their blogs, forums, and chat room. Check it out for yourself at http://www.templeofthejediorder.org/

There is also another site called http://www.jedichurch.com/ if you just can’t get enough to satisfy your Jedi Church fix.

So of course I have questions, like who do they pray too? Yoda? Darth Vader? Obi One Kenobi? Luke Skywalker? Wasn’t he a Jedi? So who is the highest Jedi? I guess it would be Yoda, and all of the other guys are disciples? Or would they be saints?

I bet some of those confessions would be mofos. "*Heavy Darth Vader breathing* Master, I have sinned. I used my powers to create an evil empire so that I could take over the universe." Voice on other side of the confessional "Oh son of mine, prayer say you must and do it again not. Thirteen Hail Leias say you must. In peace go and remember father of yours I am.

Do you think that they would use the mind trick on Bingo nights? "B12....gggaahhh... I mean O14, sorry Lord Vader"

Think that they would use Ewoks as alter boys? Or have R2D2 & C3PO in the front of the church handing out bulletins and signing people up for a pancake breakfast?

I think the most important factor in if I would join the church or not would be if they could they teach me the mind Jedi trick? If they can do that, I am so in. Otherwise I might have to think about it for a bit.