Slow your roll!

I don’t know if this is genius or sad but with the energy drink epidemic someone has come out with a “relaxation” drink, yeah the anti energy drinks. Its catchy little name is “drank”.

So knowing how stupid most of our society is, will this be the new “thing” or is it the new Pepsi Clear/New Coke? I can see legions of morons drinking this to be cool. And where do most people want to be seen? In their cool cars. Yeah, think the developers thought this one out? Let’s see, a drink that makes you sleepy that you can pick up in a gas station for a long night of cruising. Someone was overflowing with foresight eh. Sure, let’s get behind the wheel and go to sleep.

I don’t know a hell of a lot of about the energy drinks other than from what I hear they taste like what I would guess a menstruating skunk’s ass would taste like. So what does this marvel of modern creation taste like? I am guessing that it is grape flavored because the whole damn thing is purple.

But wouldn’t it just make more sense to not drink something with caffeine or sugar in it if you needed to relax? Here’s a nutty idea, drink water or some booze (not while driving kiddos) or milk or something, just not a soda or coffee. Hell, don’t drink anything unless you are really thirsty. But do you really need to drink something to relax? That just doesn’t make sense to me. Won’t you just get tired on your own? And if you did drink this tallboy sized can of crap, I mean “relaxation” drink, wouldn’t you have to wake up to pee? Defeats the purpose of drinking this to relax if you are going to have to get up to make your bladder gladder?

And after checking out the website I see that they are a publicly traded company. I may have to look into investing in these guys because you know what they say about a fool and their money. Because there are dumbasses everywhere and they will probably buy this crap by the case. I just don’t understand…

Don’t get dead