Hidden Camera Reality Television

I just realized that I haven't posted much on why I swear that I must be on some hidden TV show, like the movie "The Truman Show".

First off, let me hip you cool cats to my neighbors. On one side we have the side we the swingers, no seriously they are swingers. They even had a topless Halloween party. But if I paid as much for a body as the wife did, I would show it off too. Just not in the front yard dressed as topless Wonder Woman. They also like to watch porno… on the back porch that I could see from my kitchen window. In case you were wondering, Vivid Video's Naughty Nurses IV is good stuff.

Then on the other side there are the terrorist. No, they aren't mean or malicious or anything like that. In fact they are just the opposite. They are an overly nice and pretty quite Middle Eastern family. But think about it, every time they interview the neighbors of a bombing suspect, what do they say? Oh they were quite and kept to themselves, blah blah blah. But they are secretive. Like if I am cutting grass and they have the blinds open, they will close the blinds and they wont make eye contact. I am on to you Al Qaeda.

Of course in our old house, I came home to a note on the door one day that said someone from the Department of Defense wanted to speak with me about one of our neighbors.

And if the neighbors weren't enough to make you realize that it's a hidden camera reality show, then there is the other "cast members" who we have to interact with. Like the other day when while in a store my daughter asked a Middle Eastern woman, who was obviously married, if she knew that someone had drawn on her face. And then she told the woman that she shouldn't let people draw on her face. How do you save grace after that? You just got to move along.

This kind of shit don't happen to normal people.

I just hope the prizes at the end of the season are really good ones.

Don't get dead