Just think before you speak

The other night me and this dame when to check out a flick. While we were watching the previews for upcoming movies there was one for the Speed Racer movie. During this preview the cast and crew was being interviewed when someone on the crew said that they “wanted to make a movie like no one has ever seen before”. Really?! A live action movie based on a cartoon. You’re breaking new ground there Copernicus. You think that is something like people have never seen before? Have you ever heard of a little film called Batman? Or maybe the Fantastic Four, X-Men, more recently Horton Hears a Who or even How the Grinch Stole Christmas? I am sure there are more, I just don’t care to research it. You really want to make a movie like no one has ever seen before, make Rhinoceros porn. I am pretty sure no one has ever seen that, I damn sure haven’t. Anyway.

So that got me to thinking about some of the other stupid things that people say. Like “New and Improved”, well not shit. Do you really think anyone would go for a “New! and worse than ever before” marketing campaign? What is the purpose of making something new if you are not going to improve it?

Another one I hear is “While supplies last”. Do you really have to tell people that you can only sell something for as long as you have it to sell? Isn’t that kind of a given?

“Built to last” is another one. Is that as opposed to “built to fall apart as soon as the warranty expires”? Or maybe “built to break as soon as it leaves the store”.
And of course there is “I’m just speechless”. Apparently not, because you just said something, I heard it. Which is also along the lines of “Needless to say”. Well then just do us all a favor and don’t say it. It will save you the energy and my ears from having to hear it and both of our time. Deal?

Of course you can’t leave out “You have to see it to believe it”. I don’t know why but I believe that cavemen existed but I didn’t see them. Ehh, any way.

Then there is “We can agree to disagree”. Holy hell, no, if you disagree then you are not agreeing on anything. If you both agree to disagree then you are not disagreeing are you.

Oh and this one; “This is your only choice”. So what are my other choices? What? There aren’t any other choices? Well then that’s not a choice now is it? Rephrase your statement stupidass.

Can’t leave out “First things first”. No shit. Ever wonder why you don’t do the last thing first? Or even the third thing first? Because you will have fucked it up and then we have to keep you away from the scissors and tape mittens to your hands.

Another one that I have heard is “highly illegal”. So are something’s mildly illegal or illegal light? Correct me if I am wrong, but there is no gray area in the legal/illegal arena.
And while I am on it, the word “elegant” is being WAY over used. Therefore demeaning the word and making it a bit common place.

My brother gets on his soap box when people use the phrase “Do you see what I am saying” to which he goes into a tirade of not being able to actually SEE words.

And someone that I used to work with had a thing about ATM machine and PIN number. Because ATM is an abbreviation for Automatic Teller Machine, therefore it is not an Automatic Teller Machine Machine. Just like PIN is an abbreviation of Person Identification Number, not Person Identification Number Number.

I know that I had more but I just can’t remember them right now. So what stupid things do you hear people say?

Don't get dead