File this under the “You Got to be Kidding Me” heading

First there was the mansierre, or “bro” or manbra thing or whatever you want to call it from Sienfeld, which was sort of funny. Then there was the man purse, which still is funny, and now there is the … wait for it … wait for it …

Mantihose!

This can’t be serious, but it is. Seems that a company called Unconditional is manufacturing them and they are being sold in a British department store called Selfridges.

Not only are these the dumbest thing I have heard of in a long time, they are $112 each or a pair or whatever.

Set to debut this week, they are going to be a one-size –fits-all garment. Really? You mean to tell me that you are going to try to sell the same sized item to Michael Jordon, Verne Troyer and George Forman? Maybe I am crazy but I really don’t think it’s going to fit correctly. And speaking of fitting, what about those of us who wear boxers? I doubt highly that this is going to be a sensation of everlasting comfort that I am going to enjoy, even when I’m not going out.

Then they go on to let you know that they come in three colors (black, charcoal & beige), why?

When in the hell would you ever wear these/this item(s) where you would actually let anyone else see it? I don’t even notice the color of socks.

But wait! There’s more! Apparently they are made out of cotton and Lycra, which is designed to keep the fellas nice and toasty on those chilly fall nights. Because let’s face it, if you’re a dude and you’re wearing “Mantihose”, you are alone at night. You damn sure aren’t snuggling up with a woman in bed.

One of the supposed benefits of the “Mantihose” is to create a slimmer silhouette under winter clothes. Yeaaahhh. Because we all know how slim fitting winter clothing is. Nothing says stick figure like a down goose coat.

I doubt even men in Scotland, where it gets cold and they wear dres… uhh, kilts would even consider wearing mantihose.

Nothing says being a man like putting on some pantyhose. Going for a ride on your Harley? Don’t forget your mantihose. Heavy night of drinking and bar hoping with the boys? A Mantihose must! Getting ready to go hunting? Mantihose! Camping with the fellas for the weekend? This calls for mantihose. Is it game day and you’re heading out for some tailgating? Make sure to wear the appropriate color of mantihose.

If this takes off… SHOOT ME!

Don’t get dead