Dear Sweezey,
I see a Women I think she is sexy,attractive etc: as a single man I ask her out knowing I want to have Sex with her 7 she knows she wants the same. So we go to dinner,movies etc: I might spend hundreds of dollars before we have sex & I might not all women are different in that way but they to want the sex...............................I see a Pic & info on a web site of a attractive sexy women up front I know for $100 I can have sex immediatly is there really that much difference ...........between the women I have to spend money on or the women I just give it to! Just a thought??
- Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
The difference is that the hookers you are looking at online will do anyone or anything with the cash. And the girls who you take to dinner and so on won’t have sex with a illiterate moron like yourself in fear that one of your retarded super sperm actually reaching their egg.
I hope that they talk you into taking them to the best places in town and that they are some how able to keep stringing you along long enough to spend every penny you have on them.
Maybe if you took the time and effort that you are spending on trying to get laid and focused it on making a better person out of yourself your luck might change. Apparently you are not graced with rugged good lucks or personality, at all, in the very least.
Try letting the big head do the thinking for a while, we got more than enough idiots in this world already.
- Sweezey
Email me for advice on anything at dearsweezey@gmail.com
Don’t get dead
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Sunday, March 08, 2009
To set the record straight
Women, this is for you. And while I can appreciate and admire confidence in a woman, just because you squatted out a kid does NOT instantly make you a milf. I have seen blogs where women consider themselves to be hot and call themselves milfs. While some one dude will F you, don’t mean that most men would. Just means that you found someone more hard up for sex than you.
So while “technically” you could be considered a milf by one dude, don’t go out and sell yourself as one. You are making yourself look idiotic and ruining the good reputation of the true milf.
Same thing for you old chicks who think you are a cougar. If you don’t have a large number of average or above looking guys (societies standards on looks, not yours) hitting you on, you are not a milf or a cougar or whatever.
And to touch base on something that I wrote about a while back, low cut tops aren’t for everyone. If you got big boobs, that’s great. But if your boobs get caught in your belt, I don’t want to see them. I damn sure don’t want to see them if they have stretch marks on them. Just remember that some of us may have just eaten.
While we are on the low cut tops thing, if you do wear a low cut top you damn sure better not get pissed if you catch some dude looking at your boobs. If he was there with his dork out he would expect you to look. And you didn’t wear that shirt so that you wouldn’t get seen. We both know that you wore it on purpose, ease up and let them look.
Now if you do have a nice body and want to show it off that’s great. But if you had any sort of surgery to get said body (which I got no problem with at all!!) don’t give health/food advice to anyone. Pot meet kettle if you know where I am coming from.
Again, love confidence hate ignorance. Learn the difference.
Oh and if you are fat, work with what you got. I know that “fashion experts” say that black makes you look slimmer but it does not make you look slim. There is only so much that a color can do for you. If you are a big girl and you dress in all black all the time you don’t look slim, you look like night time.
Don’t get dead
So while “technically” you could be considered a milf by one dude, don’t go out and sell yourself as one. You are making yourself look idiotic and ruining the good reputation of the true milf.
Same thing for you old chicks who think you are a cougar. If you don’t have a large number of average or above looking guys (societies standards on looks, not yours) hitting you on, you are not a milf or a cougar or whatever.
And to touch base on something that I wrote about a while back, low cut tops aren’t for everyone. If you got big boobs, that’s great. But if your boobs get caught in your belt, I don’t want to see them. I damn sure don’t want to see them if they have stretch marks on them. Just remember that some of us may have just eaten.
While we are on the low cut tops thing, if you do wear a low cut top you damn sure better not get pissed if you catch some dude looking at your boobs. If he was there with his dork out he would expect you to look. And you didn’t wear that shirt so that you wouldn’t get seen. We both know that you wore it on purpose, ease up and let them look.
Now if you do have a nice body and want to show it off that’s great. But if you had any sort of surgery to get said body (which I got no problem with at all!!) don’t give health/food advice to anyone. Pot meet kettle if you know where I am coming from.
Again, love confidence hate ignorance. Learn the difference.
Oh and if you are fat, work with what you got. I know that “fashion experts” say that black makes you look slimmer but it does not make you look slim. There is only so much that a color can do for you. If you are a big girl and you dress in all black all the time you don’t look slim, you look like night time.
Don’t get dead
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Dear Sweezey - Need help with a guy
Dear Sweezey,
I have been sort of seeing this guy who for a while, but nothing to serious yet. He is great and seems to have his head on his shoulders. I am always going to him for advice and asking all sorts of questions and he never gets flustered with me. But one thing that is odd to me is every time I tell him that he is nice for helping me or say that he is sweet, he always replies to me with “Nah, I am an asshole :)” or something like that. Why won’t he let me compliment him? I know he is nice and has a heart of gold, but he never takes compliments. Is this a bad sign?
Wondering Woman
Dear Wondering Woman (oh god),
How dense are you? I mean seriously. While he may be saying it with a nice face on, he is telling you the truth, he’s an asshole. He is giving you warning that one day he is going to lower the boom on your ass like Hiroshima! And it wont be pretty. Yeah, one day he is going to have enough of your stupid ass questions and going to tell you what an idiot you are and all kinds of other things that you aren’t going to want to hear. Ever hear someone say that the writing is on the wall? Well when he is telling you that he is an asshole, he just pulled out a sharpie and is using his best penmanship.
So leave the guy alone. Don’t you think he has better things to do than to solve all of your issues for you? That is unless you are giving him some, then you just bought yourself a little more time. But he will get tired of that too, unless you know how to work it. Then he will just talk about you to his friends until you break crazy on him.
Sweezey
As always you can e-mail me for advice on anything at DearSweezey@gmail.com
Don’t get dead
I have been sort of seeing this guy who for a while, but nothing to serious yet. He is great and seems to have his head on his shoulders. I am always going to him for advice and asking all sorts of questions and he never gets flustered with me. But one thing that is odd to me is every time I tell him that he is nice for helping me or say that he is sweet, he always replies to me with “Nah, I am an asshole :)” or something like that. Why won’t he let me compliment him? I know he is nice and has a heart of gold, but he never takes compliments. Is this a bad sign?
Wondering Woman
Dear Wondering Woman (oh god),
How dense are you? I mean seriously. While he may be saying it with a nice face on, he is telling you the truth, he’s an asshole. He is giving you warning that one day he is going to lower the boom on your ass like Hiroshima! And it wont be pretty. Yeah, one day he is going to have enough of your stupid ass questions and going to tell you what an idiot you are and all kinds of other things that you aren’t going to want to hear. Ever hear someone say that the writing is on the wall? Well when he is telling you that he is an asshole, he just pulled out a sharpie and is using his best penmanship.
So leave the guy alone. Don’t you think he has better things to do than to solve all of your issues for you? That is unless you are giving him some, then you just bought yourself a little more time. But he will get tired of that too, unless you know how to work it. Then he will just talk about you to his friends until you break crazy on him.
Sweezey
As always you can e-mail me for advice on anything at DearSweezey@gmail.com
Don’t get dead
Friday, February 13, 2009
Guys rules for going to a club
Guys, this one is for you. With “Singles Awareness Day” or as some call it “Valentines Day” being tomorrow I thought that I would share with you some rules to help you find that lovely lady.
First off, women don’t want to be with some push over smuck. So be confident. Nice is for pussies, be a man. Jesus son, grow a pair! So if you ask a chick to dance and she brushes you off, tell her that you didn’t ask her for head just to dance and that she shouldn’t be such a cunt and to lighten up. They love that, drives them crazy.
Another thing that would help you is if you are so inclined to actually “dance” (god help you) remember these few rules for being a man while dancing (shiver).
• NEVER let your arms get above your shoulders. What are you some kind of queen? You’re not bringing sexy back if you look like it’s raining men, get it?
• Don’t ever ever ever ever ever sing along with the song. I don’t care how great of a song it is, never sing along with it.
• For the love of everything holy, don’t do the running man, the lawnmower, the sprinkler or the shaking dice thing. You only make yourself look like a bigger goober.
• Remember that dames think of dancing like vertical sex, so turn her around, bend her over at the waist and pound away!
• Never dance to more than one song at a time. Trust me, if you are a guy, you don’t dance well. Don’t make a huge ass out of yourself. And if you do actually have decent moves, leave them wanting more.
• No fucking techno, EVER!
Let’s move along to drinking. Beer is fine but is gives off a certain financial limit vibe. Drink mixed drinks. And not some fruity crap either. No drinks with umbrellas or fruit in them. What are you, Fabio? And for the sake of men everywhere, no bright colored drinks! Ever! Drinks should be dark in color. Come on you pansy, man up! And another thing, don’t drink out of a fucking staw, you are not in kindergarten. You got fuzz on your peaches right? Show it!
Make sure that you don’t dress like a dildo too. You’re going to a club to try to get laid, not an interview. No starch in anything you are wearing. And more than two buttons (starting at the very top of your shirt) unbuttoned is completely unacceptable. Come on dude, not t-shirts or anything with a hole in it. And don’t wear sneakers or tennis shoes, if you don’t have normal shoes you are not ready for a woman anyway. Wear a belt but don’t clip ANYTHING to it. And make sure that the belt and the shoes match. And no loud colors! Ever! If you are so inclined as to wear cologne pay very important attention to this part, JUST A FUCKING LITTLE BIT OF IT. Don’t bath in the shit. Let me give you some help here, go to the mall and look at the price tags of the colognes in the case. Find one that is more than you would pay for a bottle of cologne and find that tester bottle. Two sprays of it, no more. And if your hair looks like you just got out of a wind tunnel, well you are on your own, I can’t help you. Oh and no sunglasses. The more accessories that you have, the more you look … well just sad. Drawing attention to yourself = got nothing going for yourself.
Talking to chicks is crucial. Keep saying this handy little phrase to yourself “shut the fuck up”. And remember it. If you are talking, you are fucking up. Well if you are talking too much. Talking to women is sort of a moving target. Too little talking and you look like the guy who jerks off to Disney movies. Too much talking and you look like the guy who lives with his mom. Work on it, but never ever practice in a mirror. Two sentences at the most and no more than say eight words in a sentence. You want to look smooth, not spastic.
Just trying to help.
Don’t get dead
First off, women don’t want to be with some push over smuck. So be confident. Nice is for pussies, be a man. Jesus son, grow a pair! So if you ask a chick to dance and she brushes you off, tell her that you didn’t ask her for head just to dance and that she shouldn’t be such a cunt and to lighten up. They love that, drives them crazy.
Another thing that would help you is if you are so inclined to actually “dance” (god help you) remember these few rules for being a man while dancing (shiver).
• NEVER let your arms get above your shoulders. What are you some kind of queen? You’re not bringing sexy back if you look like it’s raining men, get it?
• Don’t ever ever ever ever ever sing along with the song. I don’t care how great of a song it is, never sing along with it.
• For the love of everything holy, don’t do the running man, the lawnmower, the sprinkler or the shaking dice thing. You only make yourself look like a bigger goober.
• Remember that dames think of dancing like vertical sex, so turn her around, bend her over at the waist and pound away!
• Never dance to more than one song at a time. Trust me, if you are a guy, you don’t dance well. Don’t make a huge ass out of yourself. And if you do actually have decent moves, leave them wanting more.
• No fucking techno, EVER!
Let’s move along to drinking. Beer is fine but is gives off a certain financial limit vibe. Drink mixed drinks. And not some fruity crap either. No drinks with umbrellas or fruit in them. What are you, Fabio? And for the sake of men everywhere, no bright colored drinks! Ever! Drinks should be dark in color. Come on you pansy, man up! And another thing, don’t drink out of a fucking staw, you are not in kindergarten. You got fuzz on your peaches right? Show it!
Make sure that you don’t dress like a dildo too. You’re going to a club to try to get laid, not an interview. No starch in anything you are wearing. And more than two buttons (starting at the very top of your shirt) unbuttoned is completely unacceptable. Come on dude, not t-shirts or anything with a hole in it. And don’t wear sneakers or tennis shoes, if you don’t have normal shoes you are not ready for a woman anyway. Wear a belt but don’t clip ANYTHING to it. And make sure that the belt and the shoes match. And no loud colors! Ever! If you are so inclined as to wear cologne pay very important attention to this part, JUST A FUCKING LITTLE BIT OF IT. Don’t bath in the shit. Let me give you some help here, go to the mall and look at the price tags of the colognes in the case. Find one that is more than you would pay for a bottle of cologne and find that tester bottle. Two sprays of it, no more. And if your hair looks like you just got out of a wind tunnel, well you are on your own, I can’t help you. Oh and no sunglasses. The more accessories that you have, the more you look … well just sad. Drawing attention to yourself = got nothing going for yourself.
Talking to chicks is crucial. Keep saying this handy little phrase to yourself “shut the fuck up”. And remember it. If you are talking, you are fucking up. Well if you are talking too much. Talking to women is sort of a moving target. Too little talking and you look like the guy who jerks off to Disney movies. Too much talking and you look like the guy who lives with his mom. Work on it, but never ever practice in a mirror. Two sentences at the most and no more than say eight words in a sentence. You want to look smooth, not spastic.
Just trying to help.
Don’t get dead
Monday, October 20, 2008
Dear Sweezey – First Date
Dear Sweezey,
Has it become appropriate all of a sudden to talk about sex and/or past sexual experiences on a first date? The last couple of dates I've been on have for some reason or other turned in this direction. I was always taught that this kind of talk is highly inappropriate and find it disturbing to hear someones sexual history the first time we really talk over dinner or whatever. Am I wrong or just old-fashioned?
- First Dater
Dear First Dater,
Let me guess, you are doing a bit of cyber dating are ya? Maybe if you weren’t surfing in a sea of horndogs and had a personality, looks and a brain, you wouldn’t have to seek out the pervs of the world. You really can’t complain about the HNGs (Horny Net Geeks) wanting to get into your tuffskins if you are going to invade their world. You went into the lion’s den with a big steak so to speak.
And when they were giving you their history, I am assuming that they are trying to impress you with their mack daddy skils. You know, you should be mesmerized by how the women in their past where at their mercy. I mean who isn’t impressed by their dinner date reaching level 110 of World of Warcraft or being an admin of not only their own but three other chat rooms?
You’re not wrong or old-fashioned, you are just oblivious to the world around you. Think about it, what is the #1 thing that the internet is used for? That’s right, porn. So what makes you think that the legions of wackoff warriors are going to take it slow? Hell, they think that every girl on the net is just like the ones in the pics/movies that they download. You know, the milf hunter, bangbus and so on.
All you really have to do is to think. If you wanted to meet a guy who liked books, wouldn’t you hang out in bookstores or libraries? If you wanted to meet a guy who was into health and fitness, wouldn’t you hang out in health clubs and health food stores? So wouldn’t you think that hanging out on dating websites you would attract HNGs?
Maybe you should read some of my other Dear Sweezey postings. It’s not rocket science.
- Sweezey
As always feel free to e-mail me at DearSweezey@gmail.com for advice on ANYTHING. I won’t use your name or e-mail, only how you sign the e-mail.
Don’t get dead
Has it become appropriate all of a sudden to talk about sex and/or past sexual experiences on a first date? The last couple of dates I've been on have for some reason or other turned in this direction. I was always taught that this kind of talk is highly inappropriate and find it disturbing to hear someones sexual history the first time we really talk over dinner or whatever. Am I wrong or just old-fashioned?
- First Dater
Dear First Dater,
Let me guess, you are doing a bit of cyber dating are ya? Maybe if you weren’t surfing in a sea of horndogs and had a personality, looks and a brain, you wouldn’t have to seek out the pervs of the world. You really can’t complain about the HNGs (Horny Net Geeks) wanting to get into your tuffskins if you are going to invade their world. You went into the lion’s den with a big steak so to speak.
And when they were giving you their history, I am assuming that they are trying to impress you with their mack daddy skils. You know, you should be mesmerized by how the women in their past where at their mercy. I mean who isn’t impressed by their dinner date reaching level 110 of World of Warcraft or being an admin of not only their own but three other chat rooms?
You’re not wrong or old-fashioned, you are just oblivious to the world around you. Think about it, what is the #1 thing that the internet is used for? That’s right, porn. So what makes you think that the legions of wackoff warriors are going to take it slow? Hell, they think that every girl on the net is just like the ones in the pics/movies that they download. You know, the milf hunter, bangbus and so on.
All you really have to do is to think. If you wanted to meet a guy who liked books, wouldn’t you hang out in bookstores or libraries? If you wanted to meet a guy who was into health and fitness, wouldn’t you hang out in health clubs and health food stores? So wouldn’t you think that hanging out on dating websites you would attract HNGs?
Maybe you should read some of my other Dear Sweezey postings. It’s not rocket science.
- Sweezey
As always feel free to e-mail me at DearSweezey@gmail.com for advice on ANYTHING. I won’t use your name or e-mail, only how you sign the e-mail.
Don’t get dead
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