Dear Sweezey – Pool Repair Question

Dear Sweezey,

Do you know about how much it costs to have a pool re plastered? Mine is about 5 years old and need some TLC. I noticed a small crack about 3 feet long in it over the weekend.

Any good connections for a quality affordable contact?

Can it be done in winter?

Thanks,

Pool Guy



Dear Pool Guy,

Are you retarded or something? You booted up your computer, logged into your e-mail, e-mailed me your question and are sitting by your computer waiting with bated breath, feverishly hitting refresh on your e-mail waiting for my response instead of using a search engine to find someone who does pool repair in your area and already have an answer.

Pool repair is very expensive, but you can do it yourself! And yes it can be done in the winter. What you want to do is make sure that your pool is full of water and then you want to get a bag of plaster of Paris. Go ahead and jump into your pool and start to smear the plaster of Paris all over the crack in the pool, make sure that you cover it really well.

Now here is the key, you want to stay in the water until the plaster dries, if it starts to peel or come off, keep applying more plaster. That way when you die from stupidity/pneumonia the next home buyer will get a great deal.

Please God don’t breed,

Sweezey


Don’t get dead