A buddy of mine’s grandfather is an old horse trader from way back. I don’t think he ever paid money for anything, just traded stuff for it. One time he was talking to someone about who knows what and the guy, knowing that the old man would take something in trade for it, tells him “I’ll give you a chicken for it”. Apparently it was around lunch time and the grandfather must have thought he was talking about food, like KFC or something. But what the guy was talking about is a real live fighting rooster that someone had given to him.
So my buddy and I go to his house after school and see this truck tool box. I ask my buddy what’s up with the truck box and he says that he doesn’t know. We begin to walk over to the box and we can hear something moving around in it. As we open it to see what is in it, this chicken jumps out and takes off down the driveway a bit. We just stand there and watch it for a minute when just wondering why there was a live chicken in a truck box in his driveway. Then something strange happens, my buddy says “I guess we need to get it back in the box” and squats down and begins to call the chicken. Mind you, we have no idea that this is a fighting rooster. So he calls the rooster and it turns and begins to run at him. It starts flapping its wings and looks like it might be flying a couple of inches off of the ground.
Nervously my buddy stands up wondering what this chicken is doing. And the chicken doesn’t break it’s stride. This chicken is running right at him. Then without slowing down, it, for the lack of a better word, climbs up my buddy and then down his back. Instantly my buddy doubles over. Then he slowly stands back up and I see all of these red specs showing up on his shirt and then I notice all of these little holes all over his shirt. Then he tells me “Sweezey, get that damn chicken!” I said “Holy shit dude, that chicken just kicked your ass. It literally it’s way up and down your ass!”
This really ticks my buddy off. He walks into his house and says that he will be right back. So I am just hanging out waiting for him and watching this chicken explore the area . My buddy comes back out with this aluminum baseball bat. Here is the scene, this guy is standing the in the driveway like Robin Ventura waiting on that Nolan Ryan fastball, then he starts calling the chicken again. “Here chick, chick, chick. Here chick, chick, chick.” Well it is the same song, but the second verse. Here comes this chicken, coming right at him again. My buddy swings for the fences and knocks this bird back about fifteen feet or so and the chicken SHAKES IT OFF.
Yeah, that’s right, he shook it off. The chicken gets back to his feet and shakes his head back and forth a few times and comes right back at us. This is when I decided that I am not going to mess with Robo-Chicken. So we both make a run for my car. As we are sitting in my car Superchicken jumps up on the hood.
Do you have any idea how stupid you feel sitting in your car so that a chicken wont “get you”?
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