Looking back, we will call this chapter 12

Bachelor Party

Ahh yes, several years back my buddy, who I got in all of my trouble with, got married. As customary we through him a bachelor party. I was already living in Texas at the time and although I was to be there a few days early because I was in the wedding, I would not have missed this party anyway.

Some of the details of the party are a bit sketchy, but that’s a sign of a good party right?

A couple of days before the party most of the bridal party rolled into town. On like Tuesday or Wednesday there was some sort of wrestling event in a town a couple of hours away and the groom wanted to go so we packed the cooler and headed out on a road trip. As pretty much SOP for this particular week, we got there with a buzz and begin to taunt the wrestlers, who could have snapped us in half without even breaking a sweat. Side note: we were on the front row and the smell of Bengay, Icy Hot and Tiger Balm was running rampant.

After we have our testosterone fix we head back to my buddy’s place. Where we pretty much walked in, found a place to fall and crashed there. This is until the next morning when the girls from the bridal party woke us.

Get this, they didn’t call to wake us, no no no, they drove over because they knew that a phone call wasn’t going to cut it. Not only did they drive over, they stopped and got us breakfast on the way. How rockin are these chicks? Oh and get this, they didn’t wake us because we had wedding stuff to do, nope they woke us because they knew we had a tee time and had been drinking the night before. Did I mention that my buddy married a damn good woman? It was like I won some kind of contest or something, strange chicks wakes us up, brings us food just so we wont miss our tee time, they are not bitching about anything, it doesn’t cost me anything AND I don’t have to do anything in return. Damn that was a good day.

So I guess that was Thursday. We played golf and drank too much, typical stuff.

The next day is the day of the bachelor party. We pretty much laid low all day. Then, came time for the party so we rolled over to my one of my buddy’s co-workers place, start drinking and wait for the “entertainment” to get there. No details to see here, guy code and all.

After the entertainment leaves we all sat around and fisted each other. Nah, just kidding!

We went to a hotel where we had rooms reserved, you know the whole can’t see each other before the ceremony thing. So there we are, groom, groomsmen, and some ushers hanging out in the grooms room doing typical stuff like asking him if he is nervous yet and what not. About this time the topic of sleeping arrangements came up, oh yeah I guess we better figure that out real quick. So we get everything figured out and decide that we better turn in soon because of the big day the next day when these two scrotum sacks decided that they still wanted to party. We all tell them that is not a good idea plus neither of them had a car there so if they did want to go somewhere they would have to walk and we were no where near town. They decide to hit the bars anyway … walking. This was good for me because they were supposed to be rooming with me. Happy trails mofos!

So they leave and the rest of us are shooting the breeze for a bit when one of the other groomsmen looks at the little brother of the groom, who happens to be the best man, and nonchalantly says “You know I am going to fuck you in the ass tonight, right?” The rest of us were cracking up, but for some reason the little brother didn’t find it so funny (wonder why) and says “That aint cool man, that aint cool.” Then he slides the bed over against the wall and slept there with his ass wedged into the corner all night.