No Way Jose

As I have stated before, Jose is not used to the American way of doing things. He never had a car until he was brought to the U.S. Needless to say, his car was always torn up.

So he calls me one Saturday afternoon to see if I wanted to go hit some clubs that night, which of course I did and then he ask if I could pick him up. No problem. I roll over to his apartment and see his car and his brother's car was wrecked with some front end damage. I asked him what happened to his brother's car and he tells me "I wrecked it".

Even though I knew it was a bad idea at the time, I could not stop myself from asking "How did you wreck it?" He tells me that he was changing the radio station when he looked up and hit a bridge guard rail. I tell him that he should have called me because I could have saved him the towing charge. Then he tells me that he didn't have it towed. I knew that I should have just left it at that, but noooo, I had to inquire about it more. "What do you mean you didn't have it towed? The hood is stuck damn near straight up, the radiator is busted, and one of the front struts is either bent or broken. You didn't just leave it there for your brother to have towed did you?" He tells me no and that he drove it home. I say "What? How in the hell did you drive it home?" He tells me that he was tired and far from home so he just drove it like it was. He didn't even get out of the car. So I asked "How did you drive it with the hood up like that?" He tells me that he just backed up and then drove for a while looking through the space between the bottom of the hood and the dash until the smoke got so thick that he had to drive with his head hanging out of the window, like a dog. Said that he got the idea from Ace Ventura.

You have got to be kidding me.