Side effects may result in …

While watching some of the games today I see different commercials for various products but one thing really caught my eye, the side effects of the medicines. To me the side effects are worse than some of the things they cure.

For example there is a product called Flowmax. Right off you can tell what it does. But it is to help with “male urinary symptoms due to BPH”. And I am sure that is bad, but check out the side effects. This is straight from their website which the announcer says in the commercial, “Common side effects of FLOMAX are runny nose, dizziness and decrease in semen.” Uh, no we wont be taking this product at all. But if that wasn’t bad enough they go on to tell you “A sudden decrease in blood pressure may occur upon standing, rarely resulting in fainting.” Excuse me, but I could pass out if I take this med, shit, I would rather sit to pee or what ever you got to do if you have “male urinary symptoms due to BPH”. And if that wasn’t bad enough the go even on with “So when starting FLOMAX, avoid situations where injury could result.” Do you really have to be on anything for this to apply? If I am not mistaken, that is pretty much an every day practice for everyone. But if that wasn’t enough for you they also want you to know “If considering cataract surgery, tell your eye surgeon you have taken FLOMAX capsules.” So I can either pee or go blind? What isle are the Depends on?

Then there is Flonase, sorry to get stuck on the “Flo” meds, but this is a nasal decongestant. You spray this product up your nose to open it up for breathing. Let’s take a look at their side effects shall we. From their site “If side effects occur, they are generally mild and may include headache, nosebleed, or sore throat.” Nosebleed? What is in this shit and why would I put to spray it in my head? Good lord.

I just heard another one, it is for a product called Avodart. Avodart is used to treat enlarging prostate. If you are brave enough to take it that is. The side effects say “Women and children should not take AVODART. Women who are or could become pregnant should not handle AVODART due to the potential risk of a specific birth defect.” Wait, they can’t even TOUCH it because it could cause birth defects. Dayum, that is some powerful shit. They continue on with “Do not donate blood until at least 6 months after stopping AVODART. Tell your doctor if you have liver disease. AVODART may not be right for you.” Might not be right for you, is that a nice way to say you might wake up dead? “Possible side effects, including sexual side effects” stop right there, no way in hell would I take this medicine with that kind of risk. I am surprised they sell any at all. But they continue with “and swelling or tenderness of the breast, occur infrequently.”

Now let’s check out Nexium. The purple pill people. Of course I thought this was an erectile dysfunction medicine but it’s actually for heartburn and acid reflux. They list their side effects as “Side effects with NEXIUM include headache, diarrhea, and abdominal pain. Symptom relief does not rule out other serious stomach conditions.” Hmm, let me weight this right, diarrhea or heartburn, hmm, throat burns or my ass burns, tough call. Don’t forget about the possibility of “abdominal pain”!

But I think the one that scares me the most has got to be Topamax. This is a headache medicine, migraines specifically. Side effects for this bad boy list “Serious risks associated with TOPAMAX include lowered bicarbonate levels in the blood resulting in an increase in the acidity of the blood (metabolic acidosis). Symptoms could include hyperventilation (rapid, deep breathing), tiredness, loss of appetite, irregular heartbeat or changes in the level of alertness.” Does that sound like a stroke to anyone else? And if that wasn’t bad enough let’s continue on with “Chronic, untreated metabolic acidosis may increase the risk for kidney stones or bone disease.” Maybe I have never had a migraine, but how bad must a headache be to risk kidney stones or bone disease? Shit, just give me a bottle of Jack and I will be passed out shortly and the headache wont matter and I don’t have to piss a rock. But wait, there’s more! They follow that up with “Other serious risks include decreased sweating, increased body temperature, kidney stones, sleepiness, dizziness, confusion, difficulty concentrating, and increased eye pressure (glaucoma).” Umm, isn’t sweating how your body is designed to naturally cool you off? So you can’t sweat AND your body temperature could go up. Would you just burst like Tupperware in the microwave? But they are looking out for you, they tell you to “Call your doctor immediately if you have any decrease in vision or eye pain. These problems can lead to blindness if not treated right away.” So let’s think about this, if you can’t see, go thumbing through the yellow pages to look up your doctors number, oh and good luck dialing that phone! But if those aren’t enough, they still continue with “More common side effects are tingling in arms and legs, loss of appetite, tiredness, nausea, diarrhea, taste change and weight loss.” Why does everything have to give you diarrhea? I swear all of these medicines must be manufactured by the Depends people. Think they have a guy on the inside who pours castor oil into all of the products?