While surfing today I came across one of those sites where people post their secrets. A lot of it was the same stuff, I don’t really love my spouse, I drink so that I can deal with my home life, I don’t think that I will ever find true love, blah, blah, fucking blah.
But every now and then I came across some that were good. One girl wasn’t ready to have sex with her boyfriend because she didn’t know how to tell him she had a penis. Yeah, that would be a tough one. Oh and one girl (I guess) said that they loved to wear gold lame pumps while taking a dump, that was… odd. One guy said, “I was so hot for a certain girl in high school.(40 years ago) I masturbated over her for years..I met her recently..it killed my fantasy..my weiner is sad now.” which was pretty funny. Oh, and then there was the one where someone thought that at one time Washington D.C. had two mayors, Mary and Berry (Marion Berry), dumbass.
But it’s the comments to the secrets that are the funniest. Take this one for example. “I kicked a retarded kid in the nads for no reason as a kid. He didn't tell on me, even though he was smart enough to. He never told a soul and neither did I. I still admire him for it.” Ok, the secret is a little funny but only because it has the word “nads” in it. But check out these comments to it, “it takes a special type of person to commit acts such as kicking a retarded kid in the nuts. Really.”, “SOMEDAY HE MAY PUT A HATCHET IN YOUR FOREHEAD”, “You admire a retarded kid for not dropping dime on you for assaulting him? You are a pussy in it's truest form.” and “He is not all that stupid...he is smiling at you as he divises his plan to get you cornered, alone somewhere, and he charges at you wearing a hockey mask and weilding a chain saw. (all he has to do is figure out how to start the damn thing.) Biding his time...pay back is a bitch...he knows to keep his friends close, and his enemies even closer until the time comes for revenge...sleep well mr. nutkicker...sleep well...booo haa haaa haaaaaa!”
But that one that started me cracking up was this secret where someone said, “I love to sit on the toilet and hum the theme to “Bonanza”.” Now if that wasn’t bad enough someone added a comment to it which read, “I pretend to be James Woods in Scary Movie 2 and scream out “unleash the deamons from Hell””. That visual started me laughing out loud.
I swear my co-workers must think I am on drugs or something.
Don't get dead
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