I over married

I always knew my wife was smart, way smarter that me, which is one of the things that initially attracted me to her and still does. But I had no idea how much smarter than me she was when we first started dating and got married.

You see we were talking at work earlier about holiday traditions. Well that conversation morphed into gift giving. I happened to mention that when my wife and I first got married she was giving me killer gifts. The first year that we were married she gave me an air compressor and a nail gun.

Now I am a bit of tool nerd so I was on cloud nine. There I am thinking that my wife is the crème de la crème of wives because she bought me tools.

What she did was set my ass up.

You see our conversation right after I opened these gifts went a little something like this.

Me – Wow, this is awesome! Thank you so much! I love it.
Her – Really?
Me – Hell yeah, it rules.
Her – Are you sure? If there is a different one that you would rather have we can exchange it.
Me – Oh no, this one rules.
Her – Oh good, I was afraid that you wouldn’t like it.
Me – (while pretend nailing things) No way, this is perfect
Her – Good, so do you think you could put up some crown molding with it in our master bathroom?

And that’s when I realized that I am just my wife’s puppet. She Jedi mind tricks me to doing stuff that I had no intentions of doing. Here I am thinking she just gave me a cool gift when in reality she was just planting the home improvement seed.

She still mind tricks me to this day. We can be lying in bed and she will say, “is it warm in here or is it just me?” and without saying another word I will get up, walk over to the wall and turn the fan on. I wasn’t warm or anything, hell, I was just about asleep.

Now I look back and wonder what my life would have been like if I was attracted to dumb chicks.

Don’t get dead