Winter

Today I read a blog from Krissyface where she mentioned that Starbucks had put their holiday cups into rotation. And it got me kind of pumped up for the holiday season. I have and always will love the holiday season. I think it is because I value family so much. I love getting together with everyone, right up until the first argument breaks out. Oh and not to mention that there is football and hockey being played right now. Plus I love to sit outside and enjoy a nice toasty fire.

The funny thing about me loving the holiday season is that I hate the cold. Well, maybe hate is a bit strong of a word but I do strongly prefer the warm weather. And for a host of reasons, the beach is out when it’s cold, it’s dark all the damn time, I wont even get into the people here in the south freaking out with the mention of ice or snow and it is simply wrong for my nipples to get that hard and nothing happen. And people have always said to me that you could put on more clothes and stay warm but you can only take off so many clothes and you could still be hot. Well that is true, but the visual is a lot nicer in the warm weather and after a certain number of layers of clothing it’s a hell of a lot harder to move around.

But the worst thing about the cold is that it’s like a big joke from God. What do I mean by that? Well I am glad that you asked. Say that you wake up in the middle of the winter and you look out the window and you see a BEAUTIFUL day. The sun is shining, there is not a cloud in the sky and the wind is calm. Then you go outside and it’s so cold that your nuts draw up inside you and you start to shiver like a Chihuahua trying to shit out a peach seed. That sucks. What a screw job and a waste of a great day.

So to me, if it’s going to be cold, bring it! Bring the “damn, is this the end of the world” cold. Bring the ice and snow. Bring the you don’t give a shit what the forecast or temperature is because all that matters is that it’s fucking cold, cold. Bring the nobody is out of the streets cold, the weatherman is talking about the last time it was this cold/we had this much ice/snow cold. Bring the cabin fever cold. You know what I mean. Just don’t waste my nice days during the time of year that I can’t enjoy them.

Give me winter weather so nasty that I walk to my front door, look out the window at the mailbox and say “fuck that” and then turn around and go back to sports center. In short, if it is too cold to play golf give me ice and snow.

With all of that being said, I still love the holidays!

Don’t get dead