We have all seen the commercial for the “Snuggie” right? Where the woman is unhappy about having to pay her electric bill so she keeps the house cold in the winter time. And then the announcer comes out and tells you how the “Snuggie” is a blanket with sleeves. We have all seen this stupid ass commercial right? Is it just me or is the “Snuggie” just a bath robe put on backwards? What a novel “invention” (insert eye roll here)! How bloody stupid do you have to be to go out and buy one of these?
And while we are on it, since it is a backwards bath robe without a belt when you get up aren’t you going to be cold again? Just like wearing a hospital gown.
Let’s look at this with some common sense shall we. First off, they just started offering this stupid thing in December. You know, when it is already cold. Then the small print says to add 2 to 6 weeks for delivery. SIX WEEKS?! Do the math, that’s mid-February if you order right now. You really think that a terry cloth bath robe is going to keep you warm in February?
Additionally, if you do the math the “Snuggie” is $19.95 (plus tax if you live in NY or CA) plus $7.95 for shipping. So that is $27.90 (plus tax if you live in NY or CA). Since it is already January, are you really going to save roughly $30 is your heating bill by turning your heat down a little between now and mid-February? You know, the very coldest part of the year, where you heat is going to run anyway? Oh and if you don’t live alone you got to dish out another $7.95 for one more, what if you live with 4 other people? Seriously, do the math, how much are you going to save?
It’s also kind of funny that you have a 30 day money back guarantee but may take six weeks to get to you, nice touch Snuggie. Oh and don’t forget that crappy book light. I would love to have been in the marketing meeting that produced this. Who was their target audience? The mentally handicapped?
You know what, I got a closet full of “Snuggies” in a lot more colors than the three that they offer on TV. And I will get them to you a hell of a lot quicker than six weeks. So send me $20 bucks and I will send you a robe, uhh, I mean a “Snuggie”. And if you order now, I will give you the opportunity to order our new two piece, fully enclosed “Snuggie” called sweatpants and a sweatshirt or sweater.
Oh and the “Shamwow”, give me a break. Shammys have been around for years and years. If I went to one of my friend’s house and they had a “Shamwow” as a bathmat I would laugh right in their face.
The people who buy this stuff must be the tinfoil hat wearing population of America.
But the worst of all is the late night electric wheelchair commercials from the Scooter Store. Have you seen the one where it looks like they left the door to the old folk’s home open? They show all of these senior citizens roaming town in their “powerchair”. First off, my grandmother had one of these and she couldn’t drive it for shit. You could tell everywhere she had been because the walls where all fucked up where she was running into stuff. Since she couldn’t drive it in her house, do you really think ANYONE would let her drive it to town? Where other cars where? And secondly it looks like a geriatric biker gang. They looked like the Hells Door Step Angels. Come on Scooter Store, do you watch your own commercials? If you really wanted to show what life with a powerchair is like, show the old people riding them with motorcycle helmets on and offer some kind of discount on doorframe repair. Oh and Scooter Store, just as a bit of free advice your R&D department might want to take a look at bumper cars. Seriously, pad the edges.
Oh and the damn watering globe, Jesus H. Tap Dancing Christ, how lazy are you that you can’t pour some water into a pot every now and then. Shit, do like we do, just let them die a quick death. Don’t fill the plant with false hope that it might actually live.
But I do want one of those sliders grill things.
Don’t get dead
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11 comments:
My boyfriend, who has zero body fat, thought the snuggie was a terrific idea. I pointed out all of the reasons why it was an assanine idea but he is stubborn sometimes and doesn't like to admit that I am always right. My biggest bitch about is that it's not even like a bathrobe, because you can't walk around with it. It's really long, right? you would have to throw the front over your shoulder or tuck it between your legs and penguine out to the kitchen to get a drink of water.
My mom likes to take Marks side on pretty every subject, so she ordered one for him for Christmas. Of course she paid extra to get me one too. Joke's on her. They haven't even processed her order yet.
I kinda like the look of the watering globe things, but if I can't remember to water my plants, how am I going to remember to fill the globe?
I wouldn't mind a chopper...
Kimber - Very good point on the mobility of a snuggie. I didn’t even think about that. And see your mom’s money back guarantee will expire before you even get the damn thing. Why don’t you just wear warm clothes if you going to keep the temp in the house down?
And you see my point exactly about the watering globe thing, if you already don’t water, how in the hell is this ball of glass going to magically keep the plant alive. If you have to think about watering less that damn fern is a goner!
I hear they're making a Snuggie for disabled vets with no arms. It's called a blanket.
Ok, so the Snuggie isn't the greatest product in the world. But the ShamWOW looks freakin' awesome! Don't you ever watch the live demos at the state fair?! They really do work!! I don't own one but I have thought about it many times to make the purchase. And P90X... oh how I want those 15 dvds.
Dyck - Now there's a great NEW invention
Sandy - You do realize that shammys have been around for ever and that you can get them at AutoZone, right? What is P90X? Oh I just looked it up, you want the ultimate push-up thingy too? What about an ab-sizer? hehe.
The ShamWow guy freaks me the F*CK out. He has creepy carny eyes or something. Ugh. And do you think something is wrong with his right ear? Why does he always wear that handless phone set on it? Come on now, as if he doesn't have a teleprompter!
The Snuggie might be cool if it is a nice material just for the sheer fact of you *might* be able to get cozy in it due to the arm thing. But yeah, OR you could use your favorite blanket and a sweater. For effect I suppose you could even shove your blanket up your sweater.
I am always hot... I am the crazy lady that sleeps in a tank top and shorts in January. The Snuggie would be a complete waste of money.
Andrea - I got a feeling that guy would have worn clown suit with a strap on to be on TV.
ok i have to add to this list of dumb-ass commercials...how about those frickin viagra commercials? the people they put on thier are like almost 70...theyd prolly have a heart-attack before the pill kicks in...(need i say more?)
You left out the most annoying one's on TV. The religion CD's that feature deadbeat artists that no one knows about.
Bands that couldn't even make in country music. But wait, theres more, the send you another one every 45 days in case you lost or tossed the last one into the shredder.
Okay, so I actually got some Aqua Globes for Christmas from a neighbor. I pretty much had the same responce you did... at first.
They actually made my plants healthy. I was either over watering them or I would forget a couple days, but now I only have to remember occasionally, which helps a lot.
it's too bad the Snuggie has that drafty, hospital gown thing going for it... it would be better if it wrapped around all the way
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