We had a function at work today. Now the company that I work for is so badass that our work function included a reggae band, catered food (including a whole pig like at a luau), open bar and prizes.
The more we celebrated (drank) the more me and some of the fellas got to shooting the shit. One of the subjects that we got to talking about was how people decided what things were foods. We came to the decision that most of them where probably dares.
Oysters are the obvious first choice that had to be a dare. I just don’t see early man seeing this shell on the ocean floor and thinking, “I am going to crack that open and shove what ever is in it in my mouth”. One of my co-workers brought up cows milk. And when you think about it, it sort of makes sense that a human wouldn’t just walk up to an animal and suck on an utter. Had to be a dare right? I think Okra had to be a dare too because when it is uncooked it seems like it has needles sticking out of it. We came up with a whole list of things, artichoke hearts, pistachios, potatoes, honey (come on, out of a bee hive, had to be a dare), coconuts and so on.
So we have decided that we are going to re-write history to suit our wants and desires. Our own bastardized Wikipedia if you will. Our first article is how most foods where first consumed on dares. Next I think we are going to cover either the first time man used animals as transportation or the first person to figure out masturbation.
Don’t get dead
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3 comments:
Well if you need a first-person account on how I discovered masturbation I would be more than happy to help out.
What a great work place, OPEN BAR! ha that's freaking awesome. Sounds like a great Thursday. i think being a teacher my principal might frown upon an open bar in my classroom haha.
So who is your favorite team, Bama?
shife - I will let you know if I need your account. I think we were speaking of man in general but I will keep your offer on the table.
phats - when this place puts on a party, they really put on a party. One of the funny things was I was telling some of the newer people what to expect and they thought that I was messing with them. If your school is like the school that I went to the students might have enough for an open bar with them. What subjects do you teach? And what grade?
And yes, I am a huge Bama fan.
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